The Window of Tolerance

The Window of Tolerance refers to the comfortable and balanced state where we feel calm, engaged and able to manage daily challenges. But stress, trauma or overstimulation can push us outside this window:

Hyperarousal (Fight/Flight Mode) – When emotions become too intense, these can emotions can feel like anxiety, anger, impulsivity or restlessness. A child might have tantrums, a teenager might become irritable or an adult might feel panicked before an exam or during the morning rush.

Hypoarousal (Freeze Mode) – When we shut down, feel numb, detached or exhausted. A child may withdraw, a teenager may seem zoned out or a young adult may struggle with motivation.

As caregivers, we can help expand a child’s Window of Tolerance by:

* Offering co-regulation (staying calm or having a time-out to regulate ourselves before helping them)
* Creating predictable routines for safety and stability
* Teaching grounding techniques like box breathing and movement
* Encouraging healthy coping skills and naming and talking about emotions

Do you notice when you fall out of your window of tolerance? What helps you or your child return to balance?

Disclaimer: This post is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you're struggling with your mental health, please reach out to a qualified professional or seek support from a trusted source.

Source: Siegel, D. J. (1999). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.

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